People like us.

Caught between the tension of

coming closer

retreating to safety

standing at the edge of the fire

craving warmth

fearing the burn

it’s different here for

people like us

pacing like two tigers

who have been caged

wounded

bruised

our scars are similar

some still tender

ripe with possibility

salvation

annihilation

and so we

pace.

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Love poem from a narcissist

A love poem from a narcissist

It was love at first sight.

You captured my attention

From across the room.

I caught your eye and

with a sly comment,

Your interest.

I drew you closer

Like a magnet, pulled you in

I peered deep into your eyes

And managed to touch your soul.

You let me in

And I loved it.

Finally, someone who got me.

Someone who saw me

Someone who would love me

Unconditionally

You became my mirror

I liked what I saw.

Even in light of my flaws

You didn’t reject me

You offered me space to become

Without forcing your agenda

Until my selfishness

Became too much.

The cracks started showing

A façade can only stand so long

You saw me for what I truly am

Your hurt disguised as anger

With me as cause, effect and cure

Until I wasn’t.

You picked up your chin

Put your shoulders square to mine

Reclaimed your dignity

walked away from me

Just as elegant as when you walked in.

I hated you.

Now, you simply pity me

While I try to stymie you

You refuse to play my game

I almost want to admire you

If my ego’d let me, I would.

I still hate you.

In you, I found myself.

I ate your soul

Became your beauty.

I sensed your vulnerability

Played the character

You wanted.

You are not my perfect reflection anymore

Because you reflect back the truth

And I am far too flawed to face myself

Embrace myself.

I love the image I’ve made

Don’t tear it down.

I’ll walk away

Pretend it was my choice to leave

Make you out to be the damaged one.

But I hate that we both know the truth

I was never

Good enough for you.

As Long As It Takes

weary warrior

weary warrior

I see you.
I see behind the defenses you’ve built
The roles you’ve assumed in this life.
I see the suffering you have carried.
The nights where you were lying in bed
terrified
by the monster in your dream
Your home
Your bed.

If I peer a little closer
I see the terror that still takes over
when you think of
letting your well-polished armor down
Wondering
If exposing your heart would
become the biggest blessing
or last mistake.

When you take small steps toward me
telling me a secret
shedding a tear
exposing a fear
I hold them like a jewel
And I will guard them with all I’ve got
You will learn
That you are safe
I am safe.
The world is still frightful
but we can weather it
together.

Until then,
I will continue gathering
the jewels of your experience
placing them carefully in safe of
my heart.
Polishing your armor when you need it
and wielding a sword on your behalf.
One day,
weary warrior
you will set aside your arms
& I will welcome you
into mine.

(c) Lisa Vallejos, 2014

Enough

It is not enough
for my lover to penetrate
my body
Unless he is able
to enter my soul.

It is not enough
to exchange breath in
our lungs
Without the co-mingling
of our spirits.

It is not enough
To have his hands
on my breasts
If he’s unwilling
to touch my heart.

It is not enough
For my lover to give
his erection
Without offering his strength
in my life.