Divorce & the impact on children

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Getting a divorce will absolutely have an impact on your children but it doesn’t have to be traumatic or extremely damaging if you follow a few guidelines.  In fact, experts agree that it is not the actual divorce event that causes the most harm but the conflict that comes along with it.  To minimize impact, follow these tips:

1.  It’s not about you anymore.  Once you made the decision to end your marriage, the only focus should then be on the children.  What your spouse did or didn’t do in the past is no longer an item for discussion (and vice versa!).  Keep discussions limited to the children and always consider what is in their best interest.

2.  Keep it civil.  You may not like your ex anymore but if you hope to successfully co-parent, be respectful of their role as the other parent.
3.  Don’t disparage the other parent.  No matter how bad they are, they are still the parent of your kid(s) so don’t talk bad about them with the kids around.  It only hurts the kids and will eventually backfire.

4.  They are children, not weapons.  Treat them accordingly.

5.  Take care of yourself.  The initial pain of divorce can be super intense but as the saying goes, it will pass.  Practice good self care, use your support system wisely and give yourself room to be human.  You will get through this.

More tips & tools will be available at Lisa Vallejos & Associates upcoming “Divorce with Dignity” workshop.  Details coming soon.

If you need help navigating the post-divorce waters, contact us for Divorce Coaching today!

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