It has been said that betrayal hurts most because it comes from an unexpected place…from somewhere close to you. It is one thing to have your enemy shoot an arrow in your back, a whole other thing to have someone you have trusted and let close to you to do it.
And betrayal hurts. God, does it hurt. You know…that sickening, sinking feeling that hits when you realize that someone you trusted just violated the sacred space of your heart. You’ve felt it…when your stomach drops, your mouth goes dry and you know that there is no going back from this. When your mind aches with the realization that things are forever altered, perhaps beyond recognition or redemption and grief replaces love.
Betrayal cuts deeply.
But I believe that betrayal can be a gift. The last betrayal I experienced was one that took my breath away–The other person was so convincing that I believed what I was told–hook, line & sinker. When my intuition started kicking in, I didn’t want to believe it was possible but I learned a long time ago to never ignore that voice inside of me. When the truth was revealed, I was hurt but after a while, I realized that this person, in his betrayal, actually gave me the freedom to have a life that was free of the dysfunction he carries within. His betrayal, while it cut me, also cut me loose. Once he was revealed for who he really was, I was free to leave the relationship with no doubt that it was the right thing for me to do.
His betrayal has freed me up to receive the love I deserve. I am free to open my heart to someone who truly loves and appreciates me who has proven himself true, safe and of sound character. I’m free to live my life, unencumbered by someone else’s baggage. His betrayal offered me something I may not have gotten otherwise–an intimate portrait of his deeper character–a damaged, desperate man who is incapable of truly loving another.
I’m not angry I was betrayed. I’m not hurt and I’ve no regrets about walking away. In fact, I am deeply grateful for his actions. I’m glad he betrayed my trust because it made me a better person, it made me wiser, and much more self-loving. The beauty of betrayal is paradoxical–the heartbreak broke my heart open into deeper ways of loving. In the end, I am far better off without him than I ever would have been with him.