Warning: This post is sort of a rant & may contain graphic language. If you prefer your blogs PG, click away now.
Music today. *sigh* I never thought I would get to the point where I would have the same reaction as my mother about music but I have recently found myself doing just that. There are some songs that I’ve heard in the top 40 recently that I’ve literally stopped in my tracks just to carefully listen to the words & then gone on, borderline horrified at what I’ve heard.
The first is called Black Widow by Iggy Azalea & the lyrics contain the phrase “I’m gonna love you, until you hate me & I’m gonna show you what’s really crazy”. Talk about a woman scorned…I mean, this is the modern version of a bunny boiler. Apparently the guy who inspired this song decided he changed his mind & didn’t want to be in a relationship with her anymore (can’t imagine why) and she thinks she should…destroy his life. Makes sense.
The second is called “Habits” by Tove Lo & the lyrics say “I’ve gotta stay high all the time to keep you off my mind”. This song is about a girl who is heartbroken & her response is to self medicate through food, sex, drugs and alcohol to forget about the person who broke her heart. Again, a totally rational response and EXACTLY what I would suggest.
Except, NO. This behavior is bat shit crazy and I mean that in the nicest way possible. But, I care too much to sugar coat bullshit & tell you it’s candy. Yes, I get that this is “just music” but studies have shown repeatedly that repeated exposure to song lyrics that normalize “bad” behavior tend to desensitize the listener. So when a young girl is hearing a top 40 song that is encouraging stalking & self-destructive behavior, that behavior seems less & less unhealthy. I mean, it’s a hit song! If it’s good enough to be on MTV, it’s probably not that bad, right?
Wrong. These songs, (and there are many others but these two stick out to me right now) are the antithesis of what we, as a society, should be teaching our girls and young women. Songs like this are teaching young girls that it’s ok to be co-dependent & to sacrifice your well-being for a relationship. The catchy beat disguises what the songs are really saying which sounds something like “I have no sense of myself & am going to latch onto you. When you fail to sustain me, I will either go completely Fatal Attraction on you & hurt both of us OR I will try to fill this empty pit inside of me with something else.” What girls/women need to know is that their identity can’t be tied to a relationship–that their sense of self MUST come from within & must be sustained by that which only they can fuel. They must know how to exit a relationship with dignity & composure. They must know that the message that society is giving is dead fucking wrong.