F*ck The Rules

I actually texted that message to a friend today (minus the asterisk of course).

The Rules…Act like a lady, think like a man…How to get a date worth keeping…blah blah blah.

See, the thing is that if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that using strategies to catch a date means that you will have to maintain those same strategies to KEEP the person. Whenever someone adopts “rules” to try to manipulate (yeah, I said it) someone else into being what they want, it’s bound to be a losing endeavor. Two reasons why: people don’t like being manipulated and you will always go back to being who you really are!

The movie Act Like a Lady was entertaining but the premise bugged me. All these people playing games to try to get love and it all backfires. Of course, it’s Hollywood so it turns out ok in the end but in real life, that doesn’t happen. People find out you’ve been lying about who you are, they will leave your ass in a second. If they don’t, you may want to question why they would stay cause anyone with self-respect isn’t going to tolerate that sort of thing.

When people implement strategies and rules in their relationships, it almost always fails. Because if it’s not really in your frame of reference to “withhold the cookie” for 90 days, you will do what the girl in ALALTLAM did–gave in because her NATURE was to do so. If you are still following petty “rules” like “wait three days and then call” or “wait for two hours to respond to his text”, let me clue you in–you’re playing games and NO ONE will win.

If you want to change how you relate to people, do it because that’s what you want, not because some book tells you what to do. If you want to be treated like a high value woman, then start by believing it for yourself first and then you will inherently require it of the people you interact with. Set guidelines for yourself based on what you need and what works for you but don’t try to live according to some set of rules that are not who you really are.

I can attest from personal experience and from my work with my clients that working internally, breaking patterns and healing old wounds has resulted in a natural change in how I relate to people. So yeah…f*ck the rules. Get real, own your shit and change your life. That’s how it happens.

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