Ladies, we must do better

This is an open letter to all the grown up Mean Girl out there.  If this post irks you, good.  I hope that the irritation will provide some much needed shine to a problem we have all faced.

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably had this happen to you…you discover that you have become the target of someone’s hate campaign.  They might have a reason for disliking you but quite often, there isn’t one.  There is just a sneer, a snide comment and some backstabbing that happens, all in an attempt to tear you down.  You are often left wondering what the hell you did to deserve it.

I’ve recently had this experience.  My offense?  Loving someone.  Yes, really.   I have been criticized, ridiculed and demeaned because I had the gall to fall for someone.  The worst part of this is that not one of the people who are my judge, jury and executioner even know me.  If they did, they would know I am not a perfect person (by any stretch) but I am a good person.  I am a sensitive person who cares deeply, loves fully, and I have endured heartache that would cause many to buckle.  I wish I could say that I was unaffected by the comments that were made but I am sensitive and it hurts me when people are cruel for no reason to people who don’t deserve it.

This brings me to the bigger issue; the issue of grown up Mean Girls.  You know…the catty behavior women tend to engage in?  The snide comments about another woman, calling a colleague a “bitch” or a “whore” when she’s not around, judging someone’s choice of clothing, hairstyle, car, way of walking, shoes or the way she laughs?  Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.  Chances are, you have been on the receiving end of it and if not, you’ve probably been dishing it out.

It’s time to stop tearing each other down, ladies.  Why?  Because when we do it to each other, we send the message that it’s ok for others to do it too.  Instead of beating each other up & tearing each other down, why not start building one another?  Supporting each other in our individual and collective missions?  What if we stopped competing and started complementing one another? There is something so divinely healing in sisterhood; I know, I’ve experienced it.  There is something magical that happens when women band together, unified and possessed with purpose.  And I want to see more of that.  I want to see more of women celebrating each others beauty, in whatever form it shows up and a whole lot less of criticizing what we judge a shortcoming.

Ladies, we must do better.  You gain nothing by stealing another woman’s thunder.  You gain nothing by tearing down a potential sister.  You do, however, risk losing self-respect and the respect of others because when you choose to “hate on” someone who has never harmed you, it tells more about you than them.  The next time you find yourself engaging in this behavior, remember that there are some things you can’t take back.  Your words might seem casual to you but they can be devastating to others.  Be careful where you toss them.




2 thoughts on “Ladies, we must do better

  1. Pingback: Ladies, we must do better | Lisa Vallejos

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